list_coda_patterns.py

denial_patterns = [  # codependents often... (do you...)
    "have difficulty identifying what you are feeling",
    "minimize, alter, or deny how you truly feel",
    "perceive yourself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others",
    "lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others",
    "label others with their negative traits",
    "think you can take care of yourself without any help from others",
    "mask pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation",
    "express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways",
    "not recognize the unavailability of those people to whom you are attracted",
]

low_self_esteem_patterns = [  # codependents often... (do you...)
    "have difficulty making decisions",
    "judge what you think, say, or do harshly, as never good enough",
    "feel embarrassed to receive recognition, praise, or gifts",
    "value others’ approval of your thinking, feelings, and behavior over your own",
    "not perceive yourself as lovable or worthwhile",
    "seek recognition and praise to overcome feeling less than",
    "have difficulty admitting a mistake",
    "need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and may even lie to look good",
    "struggle to identify or ask for what you need and want",
    "perceive yourself as superior to others",
    "look to others to provide your sense of safety",
    "have difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines, and completing projects",
    "have trouble setting healthy priorities and boundaries",
]

compliance_patterns = [  # codependents often... (do you...)
    "behave with extreme loyalaty, remaining in harmful situations too long",
    "compromise your own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger",
    "put aside your own interests in order to do what others want",
    "experience hypervigilance regarding the feelings of others and take on those feelings",
    "experience fear of expressing your beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ from those of others",
    "accept sexual attention when you want love",
    "make decisions without regard to the consequences",
    "give up your truth to gain the approval of others or to avoid change",
]

control_patterns = [  # codependents often... (do you...)
    "believe people are incapable of taking care of themselves",
    "attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel",
    "freely offer advice and direction without being asked",
    "become resentful when others decline your help or reject your advice",
    "lavish gifts and favors on those you want to influence",
    "use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance",
    "have to feel needed in order to have a relationship with others",
    "demand that your needs be met by others",
    "use charm and charisma to convince others of your capacity to be caring and compassionate",
    "use blame and shame to exploit others emotionally",
    "refuse to cooperate, compromise, or negotiate",
    "adopt an attitude of indifference, helplessness, authority, or rage to manipulate outcomes",
    "use recovery jargon in an attempt to control the behavior of others",
    "pretend to agree with others to get what you want",
]

avoidance_patterns = [  # codependents often... (do you...)
    "act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward you",
    "judge harshly what others think, say, or do",
    "avoid emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy as a way to maintain distance",
    "allow addictions to people, places, and things to distract you from achieving intimacy in relationships",
    "use indirect or evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation",
    "diminish your capacity to have healthy relationships by declining to use the tools of recovery",
    "suppress your feelings or needs to avoid feeling vulnerable",
    "pull people toward you, but when others get close, push them away",
    "refuse to give up your self-will to avoid surrendering to a power greater than yourself",
    "believe displays of emotion are a sign of weakness",
    "withhold expressions of appreciation",
]

all_coda_patterns = (
    denial_patterns
    + low_self_esteem_patterns
    + compliance_patterns
    + control_patterns
    + avoidance_patterns
)