taunts.py

import random

TAUNTS = {
    "This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!": "And I've got a little TIP for you, get the POINT?",
    "Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish kebab!": "First you better stop waiving it like a feather-duster.",
    "My handkerchief will wipe up your blood!": "So you got that job as janitor, after all.",
    "People fall at my feet when they see me coming.": "Even BEFORE they smell your breath?",
    "I once owned a dog that was smarter then you.": "He must have taught you everything you know.",
    "You make me want to puke.": "You make me think somebody already did.",
    "Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will.": "You run THAT fast?",
    "You fight like a dairy farmer.": "How appropriate. You fight like a cow.",
    "I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!": "I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.",
    "Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?": "Why, did you want to borrow one?",
    "You're no match for my brains, you poor fool.": "I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.",
    "You have the manners of a beggar.": "I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me.",
    "I'm not going to take your insolence sitting down!": "Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?",
    "There are no words for how disgusting you are.": "Yes there are. You just never learned them.",
    "I've spoken with apes more polite then you.": "I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.",
}