Be yourself is ok, but stop 'trying to be yourself'
What is the most powerful slogan in the modern world? "Think different?", "Be Your Way?", or "Just do it?"
All of these words share a common underlying meaning: Be Yourself. But what is the the genuine yourself? 'Yourself' makes me feel like a stone thrown into the sea, it started with momentum, but sinked in nowhere.
這些標語都有一個共通點，那就是「做自己」。但做自己讓人感覺像是一顆被用力丟進海裡的石頭，一開始充滿動力 (momentum)，但最終沒有人知道會沉到何處。
Being yourself can get confusing. Therefore, at the most times, the pop culture and advertisements decide it for us. They cultivate (form) a model of 'yourself' for us, and then tell us to follow.
Rebellion, Revolution, Chasing Your Dream, are all profitable.
They say that everyone is unique, and do you want to be unique? just put on these amazing shoes and you would stand out from the crowd.
因為沒有人知道「什麼叫做自己」。所以很多時候，我們就讓流行文化與廣告幫我們決定。
更多時候，廣告與流行文化塑造了我們心目中的模樣，然後再告訴我們要「做自己」。
We let the brand labels define us, and pursue the image they build for us. Instead of 'just do it', I feel like it more likes 'just buy it'
我們讓品牌定義了自己，再說要去做自己。與其說是「做就對了」，不如說「買就對了」。
你想要變得表現自己的特別，你渴望變得特別，所以買就對了！
喔！有了那雙鞋我將會變得更酷，我要忠於自己，買了。喔，那場地下樂團的演唱會很符合我的性格，買了！喔，有機食物跟我愛地球的心一致，買了！
Actually, I think 'be yourself' still has its value, but we cannot find 'ourself' easily. Therefore, I think we should stop pushing ourselves to 'be yourself' but start to 'understand yourself'.
'Be yourself' sounds like a static state, you only need to do something to proof that; in the contrary, 'Know yourself' is a like endless tour, or a constantly conversation with yourself.
So the point is not you should buy those shoes or not, but I should accept who am I, and what I need.
I won't be more unique than others because I listen to underground music, and nor would I be an athlete because of the nike running shoes.
Know yourself, make the decision, then be responsible to yourself.
Therefore, stop trying to 'be yourself', but understand yourself.
Being yourself gives us an implicit goal to purchase, also it mislead us to it's ok to be stubborn.
Have you ever heard the pep talk like "Don't let others define you, listen to your heart." However, how do we tell the difference between socialization and ''?
Psychologist Erikson had built a famous theory called 'psychosocial developmental theory', a comprehensive psychoanalytic theory that identifies a series of eight stages that a healthy developing individual should pass through from infancy to late adulthood.
Every stage has its own Psychosocial crisis and mission, for example, babies have trust issues; toddlers have autonomy issues, ...
However, not every one can deal with his or her issues properly, and for those didn't go well, their mental age won't match the physical age.
In my experience, when I was a teenager, I once was an inconsiderate boy, and I think I didn't need to improve that because that's who I am.
However, I can feel I cannot get along well with my friends, and fit into groups. I knew I was an introvert and I don't ,...
But thorugh knowing myself more, I realize I need to make a balance between my expectation and my personality.
I start to observe the popular kids' behavior and try to learn from them, it was a hard time but through pushing myself I realize myself more. Finally, I knew it's impossible for me to transform myself into another one or be the most popular one, but I stroke a balance.
I would start to think about others at the first time, but I also keep my baseline, not make myself too hard.
我認為，不要再嘗試做自己，而是懂自己。心理學家艾瑞克森曾建立一個著名的「心理社會發展理論的八個階段」。
每一個階段都要各自的發展危機 (developmental crisis) 與任務。嬰兒要對付信任危機、幼兒要對抗自律危機、青少年要對付
做自己感覺是靜止的，你必須要成為那一個靜止狀態的自己。但隨著身體年齡提升，心智年齡也要提升，懂自己是一個動態的過程，幫助你在每一個岔路口做出自己認同的決定。
做自己有時像是硬幣的兩端，外在與內在世界。
所以，第一個原因，廣告與流行文化塑造了我們的認知。
除了感謝好萊屋、Nike 不懈的努力外，在 2019 年，一份據日本對於中小學生的報導，近年來對於想當 Youtuber 作為理想工作的比例持續上升。
很多時候，「作自己」成為了成功的象徵，那些偶像明星或是 Youtuber 過得真的快樂媽？
成功可以帶來快樂嗎？
你們覺得呢？
成功的定義是「當現實與你外在的社會期待連接起來」。而快樂，是來自於「現實與內在的渴望相連」。
兩者有相似卻又矛盾之處。就像陰與陽。作自己很難，因為自己是由「外在」與「內在」世界交織而成。外在世界是內在世界的投影，但內在世界需要接受外在世界的刺激，兩者要達到平衡。
我們往往眼中的做自己，很多時候是做流行文化定義的自己，而忽略了真實的世界是內在與外在的動態平衡，而非一個狀態。
接受你自己
這也帶來做自己的另一個問題，做自己，只聽從內在世界的聲音就可以了嗎？
所以不要追求做自己的第二個原因：做自己、不要被別人定義你自己：是否與自大或不聽勸告劃上等號？
所以我可以做自己，嬰兒是最做自己的人，但你不會想要 20 歲以後還當一個嬰兒。身為一個人，你就是必須要遵守部分的社會期待。我們的電影與小說喜歡把社會現實塑造成可怕的反派，將剛從學校出來、天真無邪的我們屠殺。
我以前曾經覺得「做自己」就是想怎樣就怎樣，導致了很多人討厭我。我後來就掙扎於「做自己」與社會化之間。我覺得「做自己」：一個不用體貼他人的人最舒服。但又覺得「受別人喜歡」會讓我開心，但又怕最後變成隨波逐流失去個性變爛好人。
那到底我該怎麼做？
開始懂自己後，第一步，我要先**接受自己，**我不可能變得跟別人一樣完美，但我可以透過努力得到一些我想要的。思考內在的我與外在的我之後，取得我想要的。並接受他。
為什麼不要做自己，因為第一，自己很難定義，你可能還不夠了解自己。第二，自己是由內部與外部世界的交互所產生，做自己有時會讓你只在乎內部的聲音。
做自己感覺達到一個狀態，卻忽略了成長或是不同的可能性。
所以開始了解自己，隨著時間，你會有不同的需求與成長，這是一輩子的課題。
為什麼不要追求做自己，而是懂自己。
- 廣告與流行文化塑造了我們的認知：Youtuber 是年輕人心目中第一名的職業
- 做自己、不要被別人定義你自己：是否就要變得自大或不聽勸告？
不同年齡有不同的心靈狀態與需求，甚至有不同的「你自己」，如果你已經 40 歲但仍想著做 18 歲的自己，那就會產生不健康的後果
結論：聽起來，做自己像是達到一個狀態，我因為做了一件厲害的事情，所以我是做自己，好像 40 歲的人要活得跟 18 歲的自己一樣。但事實上，人在不同年齡有不同需求，人生是由一個個決定堆疊出來的，所以更應該懂自己。
What is the most powerful slogan in the modern world? "Think different?", "Be Your Way?" or "Just do it? "
All of these words share a common underlying meaning: Be yourself.
Sounds great, Right! But What is 'yourself'? Is yourself a shinning, dazzling.
they can and should live how they want anytime.
In my opinion, Don't try to be yourself, but know yourself. Don't be the meat of the giant corporation
You should instead know yourself about what is 'your desire' and what is 'your need' and the reason behind it.
Success is when reality corresponds to some external social expectations.
E.g.: Your mom expects you to be a respected medical doctor, and when you graduate from your medical school, you are on the way to success.Or your girlfriend expects you to take her to expensive restaurants, and when you get hired for a well-paid project, you are on your way to success.
Happiness is when reality corresponds to your internal aspirations.
Happiness is not equals success
When I was young, I would be ecastacy if I got 100 allowance, but now I didn't get 100 times happier
Happiness is
https://greatist.com/live/be-yourself-what-it-really-means#1
“Finding your passion” presupposes that interests and passions are fixed, rather than fluid and evolving as we age and gain wisdom and experience.
Those who follow the fixed mindset are much more likely to give up when obstacles arise.
Urging people to find their passion may lead them to put all their eggs in one basket but then to drop that basket when it becomes difficult to carry.”
This advice is ubiquitous in parts of our culture that value short-term emotional comfort above other mental states.
鼓勵短期情緒性的安慰
Develop a passion, don’t follow it
沃爾頓說：“如果您過於狹窄，只專注於某個領域，那可能會阻止您培養進行橋接工作所需的興趣和專業知識。”
→ 如果你只想到要做自己，你有可能反而限制你成長的可能性。
他認為，人們應該專注於自己的優勢而不是激情，因為我們並不總是擅長最讓我們感興趣的事情，而且完善實力可以成為一種激情。
→ 人們與其「做自己」，不然「了解自己」，因為
“我曾經非常熱衷於成為一名棒球運動員。然後我意識到我有一個每小時 70 英里的快球，”庫班笑著說。競爭激烈的美國職業棒球大聯盟投手以每小時 90 多英里的速度投擲快球。
Define your success:
You want to have a certain number in your bank account.
You want to build something X amount of people validate and praise.
You want to be “remembered” or “known” for something, forever.
You want to be seen as the leader, the one who pioneered change.
You want to help people. You want to leave a meaningful impact.
You want to change lives.
You want to be acknowledged.
You want to do something. And you associate that thing with “success.”
Do you know why most people do not become successful?
Because their definition of “success” is flawed to begin with.
As shown above, they attach the idea of “success” with something external. It is a mountain peak. A reward. A trophy. An achievement. A view from the top of the mountain wherein they can say, with complete confidence, “I did it. I am now successful.”
The problem with that is as soon as you reach that point and you call yourself “successful,” you are shifting the focus from an internal desire to an external achievement — which is dangerous. You are using “success” as a title to define who you are and your own worth.
In addition, you very quickly survey the landscape (from your amazing view) and you see yet another mountain peak. And you then attach again this idea of “success” to something else. Yes, in order to continue being “successful” you now have to climb the next mountain, and the next mountain.
The reason most people don’t become successful is the same reason successful people don’t or can’t even enjoy the success they’ve already achieved.
Instead of seeking validation, what you need to seek is exploration. The true feeling of success is at the heart of what you love. And if that is your intention, then you could achieve one thing or one hundred things and either way the feeling would remain the same. Because the “feeling” of success then is internal. It is a love for the journey, not the end result in itself.
In the world of entrepreneurship, business, and anything relating to “ambition” in general, this perspective gets shoved under the rug. In fact, it’s even looked at as weak. You should aspire for more. You should achieve more. Receive more. More more more.
The irony is that there is already more than enough within you to explore. Curiosity and an interest in your craft is enough. A love for what you do, day after day, is enough. There is already far more available than you could ever need, and it’s the outward focus that ends up distracting you from the deeply fulfilling path of wanting to do what you love, every single day.
If you aren’t successful, it’s because you don’t that.
It’s because your definition of “success” is something that is outside of you.
And true success is found within.