Refresh active relay clients after config changes

[azooz2003-bit]

Same-URL relay configuration replacement now restarts the active relay client so rotated authorization tokens take effect without replacing the endpoint or live QUIC connections. Relay removal stops the affected client while retaining the prior advertised home until net-report selects its replacement, avoiding a transient relay-less address.

The regression test uses an auth-enforcing local relay, rotates its expected token, replaces the relay config at the same URL, and verifies token B is observed while endpoint identity, connection stable ID, and a live stream remain intact.

Verification:

• cargo test -p iroh --lib -- --test-threads=1 (112 passed, 1 ignored)
• cargo fmt --check
• cargo check -p iroh --all-targets
• cargo clippy -p iroh --all-targets -- -D warnings

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Summary by cubic

Restart active relay clients when their config is updated at the same URL so rotated auth tokens take effect without changing the endpoint ID or dropping existing QUIC connections. Also fixes cancellation leaks in address lookup and bounds the path-open retry queue for stability.

• Bug Fixes
  • Restart the active relay client on same-URL config updates; keep live QUIC connections and endpoint identity intact.
  • On relay removal, stop the client but keep the last advertised home until a replacement is selected, avoiding a relay-less address.
  • Cancel hanging address lookups when a connect is aborted; stop lookup once all waiters cancel and no paths/connections remain.
  • Bound and deduplicate path-open retries (max 64) to prevent unbounded growth across multiple connections.
  • Propagate relay-map changes to relay transports and wait for actor shutdown/restart so new config (e.g., auth token) is applied deterministically.

^{Written for commit f55ec3f. Summary will update on new commits.}

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Review details

⚙️ Run configuration

Configuration used: defaults

Review profile: CHILL

Plan: Pro

Run ID: f9b125cc-eb86-4414-9b2d-c1f179e490ef

📥 Commits

Reviewing files that changed from the base of the PR and between 908ddf5 and f55ec3f.

📒 Files selected for processing (9)

• iroh/src/address_lookup.rs
• iroh/src/endpoint.rs
• iroh/src/socket.rs
• iroh/src/socket/remote_map.rs
• iroh/src/socket/remote_map/remote_state.rs
• iroh/src/socket/remote_map/remote_state/path_state.rs
• iroh/src/socket/transports.rs
• iroh/src/socket/transports/relay.rs
• iroh/src/socket/transports/relay/actor.rs

✨ Finishing Touches

🧪 Generate unit tests (beta)

• Create PR with unit tests
• Commit unit tests in branch fix/relay-config-refresh

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