The Edge of Pause

I have earned the right to rest
The clock no longer bites my breath
The lab doors close with gentler grace
And time now shares my pace
But joy walks beside dread
For not all words have yet been said
There are papers unwritten and thoughts undone
And a mind still drawn to a rising sun
I sip slow tea, chant, and play
Feeling the weight of each passing day
A student’s death, a final sigh
Reminds me how and when and why
Is purpose lost when work does cease
Or does the quiet birth new peace
My muscles ease and my mind expands
Trembles still with half-closed plans
So I retire not with full retreat
But shifting where my pulses beat
From crowded rooms to quieter art
From public work to private heart
The journey may end but not its close
Just softer earth beneath my toes
I’ve earned this edge and I’ve earned this air
Still half in duty and fully aware
— 07/05/25

Commentary: Now at the edge of retirement, both financially and mentally; I start to think about my life and my work. Also, I just received news that 1 of my recently graduated honours student, Wong Bao Shaeng Travina, had passed away last month. The school asked for something if I can write for her and I wrote this eulogy for her – " Travina was a brilliant student and the main creator of the ebeTBSW25 model – one of the largest simulatable kinetic models of Escherichia coli, and a tool to study novel chemical production. Her published work is a lasting legacy to her intellectual curiosity and dedication. Tragically, she passed away just after receiving her final results, leaving us with a profound sense of loss. Though her life was too short, her work and spirit will continue to inspire those who were fortunate to know her." At this point, I can also evaluate my work and see all the loose ends to be tied.